circle of life

mother's ahha! moment

I had one of those life moments this morning when the passing of time and generations catches you by surprise and hits you so hard in the face that it takes your breath away.

Daughter came over for a short visit this morning. I was telling her about my poster saga, about how the National Gallery had contacted me and I was getting my poster after all the trial and rudeness. She listened to me very intently and then said "What a funny little story".

At that moment I realised that we no longer lived in the same world. Somewhere, sometime, somehow, her world had separated from mine and we were now in different orbits. I suddenly felt empathy for my own Mother who must have had such a moment with me at some stage. That realisation that your child has grown, and left you behind, building their own world. A world that you may or may not understand in an everchanging world.

Daughter was not being cruel or sarcastic. She lives in the world of corporate buisness and multimillion deals where $10 million can be spent on just a study with no expectation of return. I have some understanding of it, but I am aware that as time goes on she will tell me less and I will understand little. It is sad, but it is also the way of life. The circle of life. I have had my zenith and she is building to hers and that is how it should be.

It is still sad though. The child is gone and there is an adult in her place, and she has corners that I no longer access. I know her heart will always be mine, but I still feel a sense of loss.

I think I will go and phone my Mum.