file it away Flamingo Dancer!

There are 7 pairs of shoes, 1 pair of black stockings and a black bra lying on the floor in our television room. I think I have a very easy caterpillar in my house.

When the carer was dressing MIL for the wedding last week, carer said "oh no we forgot to buy you a black bra for under your dress" MIL said "Not me, only floozies wear black bras". Carer and I were both wearing black bras.

Do you think the puppy that Obama's daughters are going to get will have to undergo a security check? Remember the secret agent who wore the dog disguise in Get Smart? You never know where Osama might be hiding. I always say if you want to get away with something just be really obvious and no one will notice. What better hiding place than the White House? Maybe that is why he hasn't been found before - he is wearing a George Bush outfit and living in the White House...explains a lot.

Will Barney have a midlife crisis because he is going to be replaced by a younger dog? Will they get him a therapist? Will he write his autobiography as way of recovery - Barney: the White House Years.  He could do a book tour on Oprah and Martha Stewart too!

My mother phoned in a flurry last night - she had apparently forgotten to give us our Christmas money when she saw us a fortnight ago! Every year she gives us money, we buy our own presents and then wrap them and give them to her to give back to us. It makes her happy. Last year she misread the label on my gift and instead of giving me my gift, she opened it and thought it was for her. I couldn't say anything as she was so excited to get it. She never did ask me what she gave me for Christmas. NOTHING, MUM, NOTHING AT ALL!

This business trip Mr FD reversed his usual habit of leaving something behind - well he isn't home until tomorrow so he may yet revert to form, but so far, he has forgotten his mobile. He thinks it is still sitting in the cradle in his car which is parked at Brisbane airport. Mr FD flew to Cairns last Sunday. Monday morning he went to Cash Converters and bought a second hand phone to get through the week. He is wondering why no one is phoning him though...I know, someone has to love him - just why me? This is what happens when you marry young - you get someone who has to walk around with his name and address pinned inside his shirt all the time.

Do you think they will change the toilet seats in the White House after Bush leaves and before Obama comes in?

Daughter 2 has to move out of her apartment as the owner wants to move back in. She looked at two apartments to rent last weekend. She applied for both, one being a two bedroom unit and the other a one bedroom unit. In the meantime she decided that she really only wanted the two bedroom unit. She got an email to say that she had missed out on the one bedroom unit. She phoned me as she was insulted they had rejected her even though she no longer wanted the unit! Gentlemen, don't say a word about female logic - we Flamingo Dancers rise above such earthly things - She has since got the 2 bedroom unit but is still upset about her initial rejection....that's my girl. No one says no to a Flamingo Dancer. Well, yes they do (yes, folks still new jobless) but they usually don't live long afterwards.

48 Days to Christmas - did that just strike the fear of God into you? Relatives, weight gain, credit card bills, exhaustion, presents that you have to pretend you like, so much to look forward to. Bring it on I say, bring it on! My life is not miserable enough, sometimes I still smile. 

How come all the Republicans know what they did wrong today? Why didn't they do those things last week then?

Sean Hannity said today that he is "more a conservative than a Republican". I fell off my chair. I just thought he was a mean mouthed, scare mongering, narrow minded idiot. Just shows you how wrong you can be. He is a mean mouthed, scare mongering, narrow minded conservative. Excuse my mistake.

47 days until I am jobless. I have been fine tuning my stick list - all the people I am going to hit with a stick on the last day. The list has grown somewhat lately, so I think I may have to go into training. I am going to got out into the back yard each day, find a stick and beat the clothes line with it. I will start with 10 minutes of hit training the first day and work up from there. I think, by the look of the list, I may have to work up to about 90 minutes to complete hitting everyone. Maybe it will lead to a new job as a Hit Woman, or a spell in jail. Either way a couple of my basic needs will be met, though I don't think I will be very good at making new close friends in jail....  If the neighbours stare too much they will go onto the hit list too - they already think I am a crazy woman, so it would be nice to prove the point.  

The gospel according to Flamingo Dancer.