Flamingo Dancer to the rescue! oh dear...
I did a senior first aid course today and despite my best efforts I passed!
The day started with my partner and I down on the floor trying to perform CPR on a dummy. We huffed and puffed but couldn't get the chest to inflate and were about to declare him dead when our instructor realised it was malfunctioning and took its gizzards apart and repaired him. Then we were off, 2 breaths and 30 chest presses all in 24 seconds. We were a whizz at the change over process too. We got to bring our face masks home for show and tell too! Oh it was so exciting.
Then we got to look at great photos like nails in eyes, and fingers ripped off due to wedding rings being caught on things and stuff that had more than one person turning green.
After lunch we got to bandage each other and knot each other up in slings. It is amazing what one can do with a large triangle of gauze bandage - not all of them should be shown in polite company either! I also got to use a training epipen on my willing victim - she said ouch so I think I got carried away slamming it into her thigh, but gee she would have lived if that peanut allergy had been real! We dropped hints to get jelly beans for pretend low blood sugar levels but the instructor said we could only have a sticker to take home if we were good.
The last thing we had to do was pass our written tests and like all good teachers we all cheated, I mean, helped each other a lot. We all passed. I was in such a do gooder mood that I even paid $5 for a tiny little disposable face mask to hang on a key chain - so next time I see a body by the side of the road I can perform CPR without fear (because I am always finding bodies by the side of the road as we know!)
As the instructor said, it is better to try something rather than nothing - but don't leave your name and address! Yes, be afraid, be very afraid...
Comments
All I'm trying to do is give you an excuse to not do mouth to mouth resuscitation on me, FD. Be grateful for that small mercy....
Unless you live here where you might be sued if you hurt the person whilst attempting to save their lives. (Unless you live in a state where there is the Good Samaritan Law - which I think even then can be different in each jurisdiction).
The first time I saw someone collapse on the metro I was horrified that no-one helped the poor woman - except for pressing the emergency button to the train operator.
Cat told me that the best song to do CPR to is staying alive by the bee gees. Apparently it has the exact BPM that is perfect for CPR.
Okay so when you whip out your mask from your key ring you also have to sing staying alive whilst pumping the chest of the body.
now I have that song in my head!!!!!
Can you imagine regaining consciousness and someone is bending over you belting out Staying Alive!!!! Hello nightmare!