I say, sweetie, honey, darhls,

Oct 8, 2008 at 8:57 AM
11 comments

Professionals call it elderspeak, the sweetly belittling form of address that has always rankled older people: the doctor who talks to their child rather than to them about their health; the store clerk who assumes that an older person does not know how to work a computer, or needs to be addressed slowly or in a loud voice. Then there are those who address any elderly person as “dear.”

“Those little insults can lead to more negative images of aging,” Dr. Levy said. “And those who have more negative images of aging have worse functional health over time, including lower rates of survival.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/07/us/07aging.html?em

I’ll tell you WHO will have the lower rate of survival if they try and call me sweetie! Not even my own husband calls me sweetie and retains all his limbs. Carers consider yourself warned!

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I get called "sweetheart" on the phone quite often. It annoys the hell out of me! As I hang up I can be heard mumbling "I'm not your sweetheart!".

I hear you. I'm probably old enough to be addressed by those names, but anybody that knows me, knows better than to even try it.

HI SWEETIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

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Thanks for the FYI - I am a notorious honey, love, sweetie, sugar, baby, dear my love, darlinger! So So SO sorry ya'll - I am 32 and I got it all while growing up from older very elegant and charming women - habit! I think I just honied Emjay a second ago on her page - sorry Emjay. I mean it in the most respectful way - but u r right - everyone does not agree with it.

I will make an effort not to do it. I did call a girl honey and she was annoyed. She said not even her boyfriend called her that - I thought she was classless and tacky so I thought nothing of her reaction. Now I am finding that it is I who is possibly classless and tacky so no more! Thank you for the education ladies. I look forward to more to come!

I don't think you have anything to worry about! There is a way to call someone 'dear' that is condescending, true, but I sincerely doubt that that was your intention - especially if that was part of your upbringing!

Anyway - whatever happened to sweetie-darling?

Oh - you needn't worry about me being offended. There is a big difference between a woman saying it and a man. It sounds so condescending when a man says it ...... :-)

[this is good]

U r right - it sounds not only condescending, but also fresh! ; )

Ha ha .... I should be so lucky at my age, to have men being "fresh" with me! That's why it only happens on the phone - youthful voice!

Flamingo Dancer replied to Emjay’s comment:
Oct 9, 2008
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I get very heated about "dahls" it drives me crazy - I will walk out of the store if they call me that!

Flamingo Dancer replied to Luminous Heart’s comment:
Oct 9, 2008
Reply

living dangerously are you!!!!! LOL

Flamingo Dancer replied to {天使}’s comment:
Oct 9, 2008
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To me it is part of putting a woman down, and also working to make her invisible as she ages. Old feminists die hard!

I say, sweetie, honey, darhls,

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