yakking Flamingo Files

One thing about driving slowly in heavy traffic is that one can study the personality and behaviour styles of other drivers I their car. I have complained previously about motorbike riders passing me on the left, on the sleeve of the road [remember we drive on the left side in Australia] where there is actually no lane, just to leap ahead a few cars. This morning I had a male CAR driver do the same, and while the traffic was slow, it was moving okay, but he was in too much of a hurry and flew up along the dirt at the side of the freeway and crossed into my lane, because I dared to leave a car length between me and the car in front, AND then raced into the inside lane…yes I beeped. I beeped LOUD.

Then there was the woman who drove along the freeway “look Ma no hands” style as she piled her hair Sarah Palin style on her head and inserted pins and combs etc. Love the way people multi-task when they drive, don’t you? Real talent, not.

Daughter 2 phoned from Amsterdam this morning just before I left for work. It was so nice to hear her voice – it has been 3 weeks! I asked how she and friend were getting on, and she said that she never realized how obsessed with “bums and boobs” the girl was and that she had been naked [ top off] at least 7 or 8 times already. “She is probably downstairs naked right now!’ was her final quote. One can work with someone and never really know them…but all in all they are getting on okay. They travel to Paris next and then leave the tour and spend two weeks doing their own thing, mainly in England where they meet up with other friends as well part of the time. Daughter is sending home two parcels in the mail, that while addressed to me I am not to open…I did ask if I could at least sniff them, but she said no. OOOHHHHH temptation.

Over breakfast this morning Daughter 1 told me about the stress dream she had last night. As I have mentioned before my recurring stress dream is that there is an emergency and I need to dial 000 (our version of 911). I have to use one of the old style dial phones and I just can’t get my fingers to dial correctly – can’t find the numbers, or can’t physically dial. Stress, stress, stress. Daughter’s dream was that she was in our house and there were baskets of clean laundry everywhere that she had to sort. It didn’t matter how much she sorted, the baskets never decreased. She was frantic trying to sort laundry…. Yes she does sort the families laundry. I launder and she sorts. I didn’t think it was such a horrendous task for her until now – I am not going to offer to sort though as I HATE sorting, hence why she took up the job. I would just rotate the clothes in and out the basket if left to me!

Mr FD has bought a yak. He woke me in the middle of the night to tell me.

 “I bought a yak”

“A yak?” says I.

“Yes a yak. It can live in the back yard.”

“Wont it get hot out in the backyard all the time?” asked the dazed and confused Mrs FD.

“I will throw a sheet over the clothes line for shade” answered MR FD.

“And what are you going to feed the yak?”

“Carrots and yak pellets”

“I didn’t know yaks ate carrots” said I

“This one will”

“What are you going to call your yak? Yakkity yak yak?”

“No, Yosemite”

“And are you going to have a yak pooper scooper for when you take your yak for a walk?”

“Do you seriously think that if anyone saw a grown man walking around the neighbourhood  with a yak that they would worry about yak poop?”

“I am a yak and I am going to poop now, sort of thing, huh.”

“Yes”

Silence as we contemplated the image of MR FD walking his pooping yak.

“I could spin yak wool and knit yak beanies (cap) so that next time you leave your beanie behind in a motel you will have a back up. You will be able to leave yak beanies in motels all across Australia, “ said I.

No reply. I suspect, he suspected that I wasn’t buying his yak story.

“Are you going to ferment the milk, like horse milk?” I asked

“Oh yes. My yak will give super strength milk. They said that they would have it mated also just before it arrived so we will have a baby yak shortly. We will have to mate it every year to maintain the milk supply.”

“Your going to be a busy man then aren’t you?”

He didn’t reply as he pondered my meaning.

“I bought some chickens too” MR FD continued

“Chickens and a yak, you have been industrious today.”

“The chickens will keep the yak company while we are at work”

“Yes, very important to make sure your pet doesn’t get bored and lonely”

He  rolled over and went to back to sleep. I was left feeling bereft that he hadn’t actually bought a yak. It had come to feels like a member of the family already.