1 post tagged “chronic fatigue”

One of my two favourite daughters (I only have 2) is having a birthday next week. She will be 27. I can't believe that she is going to be 27.

On the day that she was born and they handed her to me I knew that she had been here before. You could see she was an old wise soul. When she was just months old if I held her against my shoulder and patted her back, her little hand would reach around and pat me on the back at the same time! When she was a toddler and upset she would roll her bottom lip down and I would tell her that her lip was down so far I could plant petunias in it! She always wanted to do what her big sister did, even though big sister was 21 months older. When baby brother came along, she was 4 and not too happy about the change. I would rock him to sleep on the rocking chair and just as I got him to sleep she would come close and pull his arm or leg to wake him up. She thought she was punishing me, but if only she knew I wanted him to sleep and have some time with her just as much she!

She was always 5 going on 39 growing up. She would come home from pre-school and later school and go straight to her dress up box. She had old lace curtains that belonged to her Grandmother and she would drap these about herself, and don some of my old shoes and clatter through the house. Usually her lips were a vibrant shade of red and there was always some plastic jewellery, a necklace or bracelet as well. She was in all her glory.

She was an anxious child. Some days she would throw up in the car on the way to preschool. Leaving her Mummy was very hard but with the help of big sister we managed.

Daughter no 2 was always a head taller than everyone else in her class. And she was always the chubby one. The other children were often mean and her older sister would round on her tormentors and threaten them if they didn't leave her sister alone. She was also very bright, more advanced intellectually than most of the other children. It made life difficult for her.

We opted to send our favourite daughters to a private all girls high school as we knew they would be more comfortable without males in their environemnt at that stage. It was the right decision as they blossomed into strong, independent women.

The Christmas before Daughter 2 turned 15 she developed a rash all over her body, a high temperature, and aches. It lasted for about two weeks, but she never regained her energy. Every day when I picked her up from school she would say how tired she was. At Easter that year she went to bed and did not rise again for 9 months. We call it the Year of being Horizontal. She wore out three pairs of sheets! 

We took her to our family doctor, who quickly decided she was a depressed fat teenage girl with bad skin. We asked to go to a specialist. We did. Multiple ones. No one could see past the fact that she was overweight. The overweight was part of the problem.

Her spirit was ebbing away in front of us. We were frantic as we KNEW there was something wrong and just could not get anyone to listen. My heart knew she was fading away from us. Eventually we heard of a Professor from Newcastle University who was doing research into Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and was giving a lecture in our home town. As soon as he started to speak we knew we had our question answered. We were not given any false hope but we knew what we were fighting now.

We started our own course of treatment. We found an alternative health specialist, a young woman only abut 10 years older than our daughter and they clicked mentally from day one. We followed the treatment, and while it was more often one step forward and three back we gradually got back onto our feet.

By the beginning of the next year Daughter 2 was able to go to school until the first school break 11am, then until 1 pm and then a whole day. Weekends she was exhausted. It was sheer guts and dtermintation that got her going and kept her going.

She developed allergies to milk, something she had never had before. She had continual sore throats. They even removed her tonsils but it didn't help. She would lie on the floor and cry with the pain in her joints. She could not do anything that the other girls her age did. But somehow she found the strength to go on.

She wanted to be a doctor so that she could right some of the wrongs she had suffered. However Queensland had an interview system that was part of the admission process and from the questions asked it was obvious that they only saw a fat girl "do you think you would have the energy to be a doctor?" and she was turned down. She was heart broken. I will never forget her tears. Arrogant medical profession.

Over time things improved, but she still has problems. We have no expectation that she will ever be the child she was. She knows that she has to pace herself. Now she is on a dairy free, gluton free diet and that has helped. She has also been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome and that helped account for the weight and the acne. She joined weight watchers about 18 months ago and has lost about 25 kgs.

Today she is a lawyer. A social butterfly. A friend magnet . A caring adult. A beautiful, wonderful woman.

Tomorrow I am going to bake her birthday cake as we are celebrating on Sunday with a family lunch. She shares a birthday with her Grandmother, my mother who will be 81. The same day is our wedding anniversay - 31 years! It is a busy day.  She will be the star of the show.

She has asked for a chocolate cherry fruit cake. I made her one last year and she adored it and so has asked for another one this year. Tomorrow I will go and buy the cherries and the chocolate and the soy milk and the gluten free flour and mix it with love and joy and add in blessings, and thanks,  with each stir of my spoon.

I love you, you glorious, beatuiful creature. Thank you for choosing me to be your mother.