90 posts tagged “opinion”

Son has just driven off to his univeristy exam. I am more nervous than when I go to exams myself. I guess that a parent always wants the best for their child and even if they are 24 and a big hairy man! I kept a low profile until Son left so that my nervousness wouldn't freak him out.

Daughter2 ran a 5.2km marathon after work last night. It was a twilight marathon. This is the same girl who climbed two of the Glass House Mts last weekend. [When we say mountain in Australia, take it with a little grain of salt. Our Mountains are sometimes more a description than an actuality]. This is the same girl who spent her 15th year horizontal in her bed, with severe chronic fatigue. She is 28 years old now and doing things we never dared hope for her. This weekend she is buying a bike so she can go riding with Daughter1 and The Boy. I can't believe these are my daughters.  It has been a long road for her, but damn, nothing is going to stop her. I am in awe!

Mr FD is on the road in his new car. He keeps phoning me and singing me "I'm driving in my car". Springsteen has nothing to worry about. I would still be his in a blink. I am happy that Mr FD is enjoying the thrill of a new car ...before they repossess it at least! Hopefully he is doing more than just drinving in his car, but making some money as well!

I am feeling a strong desire to start baking again. My nesting instinct is coming back. Damn. First I have to rediscover my house under the filth and dust of the past 12 months. I was going to take before and after photos to show on my blog to motivate me into action, but I fear you would all tell me to change my name to Pig in Mud instead of Flamingo Dancer! You will just have to be content with my written crowing about my domestic superiority instead.

Daytime television viewing is really bad. Well the advertising is really bad. I think I missed out on the Snuggies as it is now summer, but I can still get in on the shamwow offer. I can't help wondering how one washes a shamwow if they absorb all the water? I can also buy life insurance before my medical results come back from the doctor to make my husband happy, and buy funeral insurance so that my children don't have to worry about throwing me in a hole. Then I can lemon detox and shed a dress size [and my health] in two days. After that I can buy Nude cosmetics and hide all the ugly bits - does it come in a drum?  I won't mention the range of sports equipment that I can have delivered to my door either. It is a full regime being made dissatisfied with myself and fearful of life in general.

The crow has left his post. I started lying on my bed with a pile of pillows blocking its view of my face. I did hear a noise at the bathroom window early last night, like a bird clawing against the screen, but I didn't investigate. I am starting to feel like I am in a remake of The Birds!  Between magpie season and being told to walk around with an ice cream container with eyes drawn on the back of it, on my head to avoid a pecking attack and now the Crow Stalker , I feel like I am an endangered species.

Isn't Al Gore looking good these days? Lost weight, better haircut. Does he have a girlfriend?

My mother phones to say that her sister, my aunt, is to have chemo after her bowel cancer surgery. At least that is what I think she said. She told me "you know those tablets you have after you have an operation". Chemo, Mum? "I don't know, I don't ask questions!" Then she proceeds to make all sorts of wild claims and predictions based on no information and no fact. I guess it should be no surprise to anyone that I have a mother who is rampant, but it still surprises me. Was she like this when we were growing up? Surely not. Yeah, probably. Explains a lot doesn't it?

I have spoken to my sister 3 times by phone this week. I love my sister. She doesn't understand me at all, but she loves me. What more can you ask from a big sister? I on the other hand understand her too well, but I still love her. That is what younger sisters are for.

Another niece engaged. Two family weddings planned for next year. We are expecting at least one more yet - wedding that is. The changing of the guard generation wise. We are becoming the elder statesmen/women. It is a nice thing. I am ready to hand over and be dotty and allow them to take the pressure.

I think I will lie here in bed a little longer and think about house cleaning and baking. It is a life and someone has to live it. I sacrifice myself for you!

• The star jasmine is flowering over the arbour outside our patio door. It looks like a huge white bridal bouquet and smells like heaven.

• Daughter 1 has her wedding dress. It took her 20 minutes to select off the rack. Daughter 2 had her bridesmaid dress. It took her 15 minutes to choose off the rack. The Boy has his groom's suit. It took him 90 minutes to choose off the rack...

• Grandma Flamingo fell asleep during the funeral on Friday. I looked at her and she was dozing on the pew. I told her to snap to, or she was in danger of being wheeled out to the hearse. She was ram rod straight for the rest of the service!

• Mr FD is flying to Adelaide tomorrow. Peace in our time! I won't say for whom! He has orders to bring back jumbo Haigh's chocolate frogs. They are HUGE and YUMMY and last about 32 seconds in the Flamingo Dancer household! He has been told not to come home if he fails in his mission.

• God daughter turned 1 last week. She is soooo cute. I played with her on Friday afternoon. We unwrapped her birthday present together. She was very serious about it, with a little frown across her brow until she achieved opening the present and had time to inspect and then the smiles came. A woman not easily won...Flamingo Dancer to the core!

• I understand why Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize. Didn't you breath a sigh of relief when he said the USA wouldn't go ahead with its Stars Wars project and putting bases in Poland etc facing Russia? I felt as though we had taken a giant step back from another catastrophe. I feel it is recognition that the rest of the world is happy dancing that USA is coming into the 21st century and seeking peace, not conflict. Give him another if it helps!

• My brother in law turned 68 on Friday. I have a BIL who is 68! We did not put candles on the cake.

• Son has learnt a new way to get extra money from me. He says he needs cash to get a hair cut and of course no mother is going to refuse that, so I hand over the cash. He somehow forgets to get the haircut and three weeks later asks me for cash for a haircut. Of course he needs it more urgently now and so no mother is going to refuse and so he gets the money. Now when he requests hair cut money, I ask if this is for the pretend haircut or the real haircut. He still gets the money. 

• You know that I am doing this just to waste time away from my studies don't you?

• For those of you who have seen the black face routine on Hey Hey It's Saturday, please don't think that is representative of contemporary Australian humour. Darryl Sommers has been the sad butt of jokes for the past few years and the only way he could cling to celebrity was to revisit a show concept that had its time 20 years ago. I was horrified to hear that they were bringing the stupid show back in the first place - it was always pathetic. A sad example of a television network who thought returning to the past would get ratings. One point though - few people picked up on the fact that the man with the white Michael Jackson face was in fact an Indian. Not that it made the skit any more palatable. Still the hoohah doesn't stop the children dying of starvation and malaria in Africa does it?

• Now that my daughters live away from home, it takes half a day of phone calls to catch up on my family each week - Mother Flamingo Dancer, Sister Flamingo Dancer, Daughter1 and Daughter 2...whew. Mr FD gets his mother and usually his sister, though there are times when we fight over answering the phone when we suspect it is her and I get the short straw and have to speak with her...

• It is raining tiny tiny rain drops. The first rain we have had in over 2 months. I am pretending I don't hear it, in case I scare it away. The lawn is crispy dry under my feet when I walk out to the clothes line...Mr FD just called out that it is raining. I told him to shut up. He apologised automatically as he is trained to do. I can smell the dust settling. Heaven.

• BIL asked me if I went to communion during the funeral mass. We both said at the same time "because that is the only way people know you are there!" I love my BIL - he understands my evilosity.

• It is raining harder now. Obviously the rain doesn't read blogs. Yet.

• I can't avoid the study any longer can I? Can I?

In my present state of mind I have to stop watching cable news. My heart aches for the peoples of Samoa, Tonga and Sumatra who have lost their loved ones and their homes in the earthquakes and tsunami this week. Watching film of a mother saying how she lost her husband and both her children (ages 1 and 2) is heartbreaking

I love President Obama, I have to admit it, and I do, often and frequently. I had to smile at his expense this morning though. Nay, I laughed so heartily I spat out my tea and had to gasp for breath.

I have never watched Glen Beck and his ranting, but this afternoon I had a couple of minutes spare before the timer would ring on the oven and so I sat down with a cup of tea and the remote and took a risk. In the 2 minutes I viewed Mr Beck I listened to him congratulate himself for "outing" a communist in the Obama administration, and then compare himself to the honourable Edward R. Murrow [A pioneer of television broadcasting, Edward R. Murrow, produced a series of TV news reports that helped lead to the censure of Senator Joseph McCarthy and the "witch hunt" on alleged communists in 1950s America].

Winter is not 35 Celsius. It is not officially Spring until next week. This really sucks!

speaking one's mind

I am not one for introspection on a regular basis. In fact, I tend to avoid it as much as possible as I find that it just leads to feelings of inadequacy and depression and a major lowering of my usually magnificent self esteem.  Therefore I question its value. If introspection does nothing,  but lead us like the Pied Piper down the road of making lists of our failures, regrets and self-flagellation, what greater good does it serve?    So basically, as I said earlier, I avoid it.

Subtext: I don’t like to admit that I am wrong. In my opinion, I rarely am anyway.      

However,   a major underlying theme of this education degree that I am undertaking is the idea that we should look within and question our attitudes, values and prejudices.  I admit that I have prejudices:  I don’t like men who hit women, I don’t like women who choose a new partner over their children, I don’t like the politician Tony Abbott and the rest of the Liberal and National parties,   I don’t like any religion that seeks to control or diminish any other human being and I could happily live without the average Australian rugby league player. I could possibly learn to tolerate footie players, but never ever Tony Abbot.  I find prejudices often wax and wane over time though some remain life long.

Attitudes and values.  Now that is where I  am challenged. I think at 51 I am fairly set with attitudes and values. Kind of a done deal, worked out over a life time.   Learnt the hard way.  So all this touchy feely reflective stuff  that I am suppose to produce to impress the Queensland College of Teachers to gain registration  is a bit like piffle to me.  I already know that I have a strong sense of social justice, a one for all and all for one mentality where access and equity comes along. I won’t bother you with my wonderfulment, but I think I am ok as a human being.  My motto is two wrongs don’t make a right  what more can I say. I would have said sorry to the Aboriginals years ago. I would happily work in their schools and I will apply for disadvantaged (?) areas when I qualify.    

So where is this all heading?

Basically, I am tired of having to exist in a youth orientated world, where my entire course ignores my existence as a mature human being and persists in pretending that I am 24 and my idea of “bonding” with my colleagues is a free happy hour down at the local bar.  I don’t want to have to talk about my identify formation or drag out experiences from my own school days. I have tried for years to blank most of that out as a regrettable experience except for the wonderful friends I made.

Is it ageism?  I am not sure. I have access and equity, no argument there.  Am I acknowledged? NO!  Well, except when I stand up and shout what about me?,  or make some crack about my age to remind them of my exisitence. It doesn’t stop me from achieving what I wish to achieve, but it does work to diminish me in some way.

It makes me angry, because who are the course creators? People my age or older! So they should be more sensitive to the mature age students – and we are more than a few, especially in the current economic climate.  Middle aged white people, working to diminish middle aged white people.  Some kind of sick joke?

I know where I am going now.

How the hell are these kids going to respect us and care for us when we are old, when we work to make ourselves invisible already?  I am important. I am not stepping aside to their values and stand in the shadows waiting for attitudinal crumbs. And a few people, people my age too damn it, better stop aiding and abetting them because I will hunt you down. I may not remember you name, but hell I will have a list to remind me!  One thing about maturity, it teaches you how to get revenge in the more interesting ways... I know how to eat young before breakfast.

Have you ever been drawn into a conversation, just to be polite in a social gathering where, as it progresses it takes on a turn that makes you feel comfortable, but once again, out of politeness you maintain a presence?

Well, that happened to me last night and even hours later I am upset about it. Last night was Daughter1 and The Boy’s engagement /housewarming party. It was at their home, I just had to supply most of the contents of my kitchen. The person who delivered this distress upon me is MrFD’s  Rotating BIL. We call him rotating because he had an affair [after 25 years of marriage and it was more a symptom of a bad marriage than the cause if you get my drift], Mr FD’s sister threw him out for over a year,  took him back, then wanted to throw him out again but he refused to go so they lived in separate parts of the house and now after another year she has taken him back [ to what degree I don’t want to know].

He is very tall, very loud and always negative and competitive. She thinks everyone thinks he is a god. We know everyone is just being nice for her sake. In 25 years of knowing him, we have never come close to being able to stay close to him for any length of time. Mr FD bristles with him very fast, so it always fell to me to spend time with Rotator – of course Mr FD paid for it later, as he does whenever I am lumped with quality time with MrFD’s father also. I think his sister just married a bigger version of her father but that is another blog.

ANYWAY, Rotator is a burned out teacher and has gone into an unsuccessful career in real estate. He was talking to another person, also a long time teacher though semi retired. One thing I have found in this age group is that they don’t like change... mention powerpoint presentation to them and they grow pale and shake. They are the type of people that should have left teaching a long time ago as they are not willing to equip the students with the skills they need for today. And while I am mentioning this, let me be clear that there are a lot more teachers in this age group who do embrace change and technology and are exactly what the students need.

Rotator thinks he is an intellectual giant too – yes has an opinion about everything and always negative. So he launches into a tirade against the government and outcomes based education and starts asking me questions, because obviously I have the most recent information on what is happening in the field. I tried to answer the questions honestly and fairly with the knowledge I have, but am honest that I don’t understand it all as yet, maybe never will. Rotator always has his negative agenda working though and so starts to twist the questions so that I have to answer things in a negative way about teaching, the education department and the university I attend. Now, not that there aren’t negative aspects but there are some really positive ones too, and as we all know that some issues have multiple parts to them.

After awhile I noticed that the people around us had stopped talking, probably because Rotator has such a BIG VOICE. They are listening and some are sitting with heads on the side to listen better....I feel embarrassed that they may think that the opinions being addressed are really my own. They aren’t. Rotator is working to put down something that I appear to be achieving that he failed at doing...agenda item 1. I was also trying to be polite as this is the first time we had seen him with Sister since last year – for her sake, because she will tear flesh from Mr FD otherwise we remain polite [ MR FD was collateral damage in the first break up due to no fault of his own] .

As the conversation went on and I exhausted myself trying to put a positive on the negative I gave up. I said I was feeling ill, not untrue, and Mr FD and I left. Other people were leaving so we felt that it was ok to come home – Daughter1 understood.  

Well, Daughter understood to the point that Rotator and wife were the last to leave, bar Daughter2. Apparently they led them to the front porch in the hope they would go home but they continued talking and talking until Daughter1 was going to say WILL YOU GO HOME ALRIGHT!

So today, I am feeling horrible. I was drawn into participating in a conversation that was not me, and I didn’t say , you are full of crap, to someone who is full of crap. Someone should have said that to him years ago. And someone should have said that to Mr FD’s sister too, except she has a vicious tongue – one of those people who can dish it out but won’t take it in return. I did it out of loyalty to Mr FD, to maintain family harmony, and to be polite. So if all those things are so honourable, why do I feel so bad today?

I guess that I don’t want people to think that might be the person that I am. I don’t want people to have received information that is tainted.  I would hate if Daughter1 and The Boy’s friends thought that I was a horrible old battle axe. Sigh.  Can’t win this one I know, but I am angry that Rotator is back in the fold and causing issues again. Luckily we only socialise at major family events... and if lucky they may be separated by the time Daughter1’s wedding comes around!

On the up side, as Mr FD and I were leaving the party we were able to reunite a lost dog with its owners, so maybe that will balance my karma for the day. I suppose in my own heart I know that I am a better person than that and maybe that is all I should worry about. I can live with me.

Is anyone else quietly excited by the recent events in Iran, or is it just me?

Yes, it was me. I was the woman sucking the chupa chup and singing as she drove home yesterday. It was Friday and the start of a long weekend. It was a watermelon flavoured chupa chup, not my favourite flavour, but that is what the teacher gave me. I had been very good all day.

Oh and yes, it was me walking like an Egyptian at the back of the gym when we were superiving exams yesterday. What else is a teacher to do when they have to walk around a gym for two hours watching 140 girls do examinations? I may have also joined a couple of other teachers who did a little cancan dance as well. We were down the back and behind all the girls - hey we were bored. We took turns standing up the front looking stern, and making sure no one cheated, but hell, when we got down the back and behind the girls, damn it, we cut loose. Quietly of course!

Which brings me to a more serious point. Mothers please make sure that your daughters know to go to the bathroom before they go to an exam. Apparently it is a physical impossibility for a 16 year old to go more than an hour without a toilet break. Luckily the gym had toilets - the main doors were all pegged back so no real cheating could occur. The individual cubicle door shut, but the main doors were open. One could time and listen!!!!!!!

Mothers, your daughters also need a packet of kleenex. I grew so exhausted going to the front of the gym to get tissues for girls - and hey it took time away from my dancing - that in the end I just walked around with a box in my hand and the girls could grab one as I passed on my rounds. It is a distinct possibility that the students mutated the swine flu during that exam.

May I ask who in their right mind, decided to send me, a History and English teacher to supervise maths and chemistry examinations. Smart thinking. One girl put her hand up and told me her TWO calculators were giving her two different anwers...I didn't know whether to laugh out loud, or pretend thaat I understood. In the end I put my hand up and called over another teacher. There were 6 teachers in the gym and so one of them ran out and found a maths teacher to answer some of the queries...that is right, 6 teachers and not one of us in the area that was being examined. Tuesday I supervise the students that need extra time - those with physical and intellectual or learning issues...as I always require extra care I thik I can handle that one!

Oh and yes, I went over to the dark side. I thought that I should start reading some "youth" literature and so borrowed the Twilight book by Stephanie Meyer from the school library. I thought I would have to suffer through it at some stage, so better sooner than later. By page 52 I was hooked. Mills and Boon with vampires and I couldn't put it down.!!!! I read it in a night! Then just  as further research as a possible teaching resource, I hired the DVD  - not as good as the book, but better than I expected...you know what is coming next, don't you - I will borrow the next book on Tuesday. I think I will be over it by then.

Two more weeks of prac. then one week of holidays, then four weeks of uni and then...another 8 weeks of prac and a bit more uni. I am going to make it or die in the attempt!

Today the sky was so clear and blue, not a cloud to be seen. I looked up and there were hot air balloons crossing the sky - it was another picture perfect day in Brisbane. Winter is just so wonderful here. The morning was crisp and a little foggy, but the day was jusr so lovely I think it got to 22 or 23C. I love winter. In Brisbane, it is the winter yu have when your don't really have a winter!

P.S. I managed to dress myself and wear matching shoes all week. I thiink we could call that a successful week, dont, you?