Life suggestion 101: When alternating between spending half a lifetime in the bathroom, evacuating, and lying in bed suffering severe stomach spasms it is not, and never will be, a good idea to tune into the nature doco your husband is watching on Amazonian Dung beetles getting their big jollies from making big balls of Howler Monkey poo. Somehow it just doesn't have the charm one would expect. To be told that the bigger the dung ball the male dung beetle can make, the more irresistible he is to female dung beetles just doesn't seem so impressive when one has been expecting ones own intestines to appear at any time.
And surprisingly Mr FD couldn't quite understand why I wasn't showing the right degree of wonder and awe. Daughter 1 suggested that perhaps Mum might like to watch something else, and Mr FD replied "no, she will really love this!" In what lifetime? Perhaps the one where I come back as a dung beetle, which actually might be considered a step up on this life for me, by those who know me! I would have happily eaten my own young yesterday to halt my misery. I settled for almost eating MR FD every time he phoned me from the office to check on me yesterday.
Ah nice man you say, so caring. Yeah. Except I was finally deep asleep and the phone rings and I jump to answer it (automatic response, too many ailing relatives) but it isn't in its usual spot, it is in Daughter 1's bedroom so I leap out of bed, well I fall out of bed and bang my leg against the bed (yes I do have the big bruise today to proof my suffering, and why I am making others around me suffer). I pick myself up and tumble into her bedroom only to have the ringing cease as I arrive. Then my mobile starts to ring so I hurdle back into our bedroom and grab the phone - and he says "what took you so long"? Funny man!
The high point of yesterday? Son took the wheelie garbage bin and recycling bin out to the kerbside to await today's collection without me asking... I rejoice that I must have done something right, somewhere, one day as a mother. It really is the little things that come to mean so much, some days.
]]>
I have a migraine this morning. I may have to eat some young.
]]>Work friend, the poor woman who had the meltdown last week, is today undergoing a breast scan. Her doctor found something worthy of being investigated and so she has gone to have a scan today.She is a very sensitive fragile person so I am not sure how she will handle this if there is a problem...
I got a letter just last Friday from the government telling me that now that I am 50 (obviously Big Brother is watching and counting our birthdays) that I should book in for my free breast screen. I am of course, but did they have to choose this week to run a national media program telling us that 75% of breast cancer cases are in women aged 50 and over? It is all working to make me feel very mortal today.
My hip became a pain yesterday and kept me awake all night. I took a trammel about 2pm which helped for a short time but they always seem to make me agitated and I feel hot wired for hours afterwards. I suffer from diverticultis, which is normally an old person's condition, as every doctor gleefully tells me, but I developed after the birth of my son due to complications after a caesarean and a kink in my bowel, so I can't take any painkillers with codiene or I experience terrbile stomach pain. Sigh.
I couldn't sleep, and was aware that husband had a business trip today so moved to another room for a couple hours. Blogged on my lap top for awhile, being careful where I placed my fingers on the keypad, and watched the crazy media on Fox for awhile. Finally got to sleep about 4am, husband up at 5.30 to leave, daughter brought me a cup of tea before she left for work, bless her, I sent sms to Boss and Mega Boss to say not coming in today, and went back to sleep until 9.30. I thought I would watch cable for awhile but something bizare has happened to the remote and I can't get it to change channels so I am locked on Bill O'Reilly, who is currently criticising Obama's body language, fair and unbalanced of course! I am not in the mood for Mr O'Reilly and his spin today...sigh. I am not in the mood to crouch down and fiddle with the cable box etc. I think the gods are conspiring against me today. I will have to wait for son to appear and rescue me - which is why we have children right!
When was or is the full moon? Am I caught in its grasp, its lunancy?
Sorry to rain on your parade today, I promise to be better company next time.
]]>
Ah the constant fight to balance what I would like to do in my day with what I have to do with my day.
Every time I have a free day off from work, I imagine what a wonderful time I will have and how the hours will stretch on and on filled with incredible pleasures. Reality is that it just ends up being another day to catch up on household tasks because I become so guilt ridden everytime I do sit down with a tea and a book that it only last 15 minutes and because I can't concentrate on the joy at hand, but rather on the mess that surrounds me, I have to leave it and go tidy something. But I don't tidy well, I tidy superficially, because I don't really want to be doing it. So I accomplish little on either side of the scale - no pleasure, some pain, lots of guilt and resentment though!
]]>