2 posts tagged “pillow talk”

Tuesday night:

FD rolls over in bed.

Mr FD : Be careful!

FD: What?

Mr FD : Be careful of the chicks!

FD: Chicks? We have chicks in our beds?

Mr FD : Penguin chicks.

FD: How many penguin chicks are in our bed?

Mr FD : Lots - 8 to 12 at least.

FD : We have 8 to12 chicks sleeping in our bed with us?

Mr FD : Yes, so be careful when you move.

FD: If they poop on the sheets I won't be happy

Mr FD : Oh they won't do that, they have diapers.

FD : Of course they would! How long are these chicks staying with us in our bed

Mr FD: I don't know, awhile. Until their parents come back for them.

FD: And where are their parents?

Mr FD; On holiday.

FD: You are making them breakfast. 

Wednesday night

Mr FD : I am going public

FD: Going public about what?

Mr FD : Tiger Woods and I.

FD : You've had an affair with Tiger too?

Mr FD: Yes. I feel so used now.

FD: Where did you meet him?

Mr FD : In the valley [night area].

FD: What were you wearing?

Mr FD : A tight little number. Blue, orange, a splash of red.

FD: Did you wear heels?

Mr FD: Oh course! And sequins. It was kind of a jumpsuit thing.

FD: Do you think you will recover?

Mr FD : I feel sooooo used...sigh 

Is that a dragon I see before me?

Night 1:

Flamingo Dancer returns from the bathroom and Mr FD asks:

"Did you see any dragons?"

"Yes," said I. "They were bar-b-queing the yaks"

"I hope there are some leftovers for breakfast" he says and goes back to sleep.

Night 2:

Mr FD returns from the bathroom and I  ask:

"Did you see any dragons?"

"Dragons!" Mr FD exclaims. "I am sick of slaying dragons. Day in, day out, nothing but dragon slaying. At least they could keep it down to one a day." He returns to bed and goes back to sleep.

Dragons and yaks in our backyard...the neighbours are not going to be happy at all.