4 posts tagged “the assistant”

I cut class today.

Well not actually cut class. The lecturer did not arrive for the 9 am lecture and we eventually found out, well I walked back to the admin office and asked where the #%#%@#$ is she, but nice like, and they told me that she was ill. In fact she must be very ill as it as sooooo unlike her not to notify people earlier. Which is ok. I will let her be sick. We have the lecturer for our tutorial group following and so it was in the balance as to whether they could find someone to cover in an hour....hmmm let me see who we have in the cupboard...oh look the cupboard is bare of spare lecturers. The tutor from the other group said that we could join her group if we wanted. BUT and here comes the excuse, BUT she already had a full room so it might have meant sitting on the floor, NOT AT MY AGE THANK YOU!, and it was an old room where apparantly they have lost the remote to the air conditioner and the actual unit is too high for anyone to reach the controls, if we like knew where the button was on the stupid thing, and so there would only be a couple of poor old ceiling fans. AND THE WEATHER MAN SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE 35 DEGREES C TODAY.

So, I cut class. I went and bought myself an iced coffee - too hot for real coffee today - and went and sat in one of the shady park like areas at the university for two hours. They had the sprinklers watering the grass so I sat as close as I could to the sprays without getting wet so as to have the best cooling service I could manage. It was very lovely. VERY LOVELY for the two hours until I waited for the next lecture.

I got a text from The Assistant trapped in the Basement of Discontent. The Boss has quit. He spoke to no one, just left a letter on his desk and disappeared. I am waiting for gossip, I mean, details, at her earliest convenience. HA HA. I laugh in the face of their downfall. Ha Ha.

Time for a somber thought, so if you are not in the mood for it today, go away and make tea, get old, or something. We were watching a short video today and two of the facts that flashed up were that :

1. If you own a fridge, a cupboard to put your belongings in, a bed, and a roof over your head  then you are richer than 75% of the rest of the world.

2. If you possess a bank account [they said nothing about actually having money in it, but I guess you have to have the minimum to keep it open] then you are in the richest 35% of people in the world.

Gets you were you think, doesn't it? Change your day? Changed mine.

You know how, whenever you move house, that there is always something that you need that you can never find for months in the yet to be unpacked boxes?

Well, The Assistant moved a fortnight ago, and about two nights past she had the old midnight epiphany - oh my god I forgot/ didn't do/ should have/it was due yesterday/expired Sunday - and sat bolt upright in her bed 'WHERE THE HELL IS MUM?"

This is what happens when you keep mother's ashes in a box in the living room. When you move she gets placed in with the packing boxes and forgotten.

 She still hasn't surfaced.

Ever one is getting very edgy at work. Some of it may be due to the sugar high we all got from the pre-pre Christmas farewell morning tea we gave ourselves this morning. SWKK wanted it and said “lets do food and gifts” next Friday and we all said yes,  okay, we will, in that weak voice you get when you are being polite, but completely lack enthusiasm of any kind. Then  I decided god damn it I am going to take my flex day on Friday after all and changed my hair appointment to Friday and said I can’t make Friday for food and gifts, and lo, SWKK said what about Thursday? and hence the sugar high.

We came with our little gifts – except for SWKK who said something about bringing hers tomorrow, next week, whatever. We of course handed ours over…I have no doubt that she will produce something for us before she leaves next week, but I suspect, I know, it will be of lesser value. The Assistant gave her a musical snow globe, from one of the cheap and nasty shops we all love so much, only when SWKK went to play the music there was no key with which to wind it , so she just got to shake it….poetic isn’t it! Best big jolly I had this week!

SWKK also made a pavlova. Now, a good Aussie pav is always filled with cream and topped with fruits such as strawberries, kiwi fruit, passionfruit etc. Well, the Assistant wont eat fruit. She was traumatized by a banana at an early age and so won’t go near any fruit item. So SWKK, in her milk of human kindness mode, flavoured the whipped cream with chocolate powder and put chocolate flakes over the top. We all went, mmmm mmmm, lovely. And it was to a degree, but it just didn’t seem right. A pavlova has fruit, and chocolate whipped cream just seemed like blasphemy. Maybe it is the catholic side of me again. Some things you don’t mess with…however it was nice.

Now, with sugar pulsating through every vein and artery, we feel like punching people out. Especially the people who feign empathy or sympathy but it is really just a guise to gather gossip. GO AWAY. GO AWAY NOW, BEFORE I SMASH YOUR FACE INTO WHAT REMAINS OF THE CHOCOLATE PAV.

The End – may it be soon.

Mental Health Day, Doona Day, Chucking a Sickie, No Show Day, call it what you will but I am not going to work today. I can't take the Cry Me a River Sisters (SWKK and The Assistant) Today.

not playing today

Besides we don't get paid out for our accumulated sick days so in the great Australian tradition we all plan to use them up before we are shown the door on, Ho Ho Ho Home you go, and stay there Christmas Eve!